Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
