ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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