Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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