respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize