Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
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