i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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