You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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