Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Randomize
