You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
