what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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