I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It's never too late to be topless.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
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