I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
