I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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