i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
