the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
This is the high leading the old right now
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
