Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
soo... how was my night?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
