I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
