Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
