sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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