My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Just cropdusted the office
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You dont lie about slip and slides
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
