I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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