Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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