Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
i out mim tonsoeep
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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