But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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