check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
