I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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