My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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