I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.