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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  New charity walk idea!

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.

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• (845): View more from New York

  I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties

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• (213): View more from California

  I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...

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• (455): View more from

  As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.

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