so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.