Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
