apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
The 33 Worst Things Men Have Said While Hitting On Women
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum