Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
