i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Life is so much better after having sex.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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