my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
