Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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