I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
