I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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