If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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