did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize