I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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