But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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