i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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