he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
