I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
