we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
