i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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