Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
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and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
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He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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