I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
