Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
