yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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