ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
