The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
