All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
