they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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