My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You left your phone here
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