Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
