Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize