Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
