Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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