dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
