i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
How does it feel to date your dad?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
