I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Randomize
