my mouth tastes like poor choices
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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