capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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