yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Can I color on your dick again?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
