i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
