I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
