it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
