All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
