Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
